Why Writing A Song Can Help When Talking Is Impossible

Some days the words just don’t come out. You can’t find the words to express the intensity of what you are feeling. Or the only movement you can muster is to pick up an instrument and howl.

I’ve had plenty of those days. Talking can help. Sometimes it doesn’t. A small song can.

Why a song helps when talking stalls

• A song gives shape. Verse, chorus, rhythm. Your feelings get a container.
  
  

• It slows you down. Melody forces breath and pacing. Your body hears the message.
  
  

• It creates distance. The words live in the song, not just in your head.
  
  

• You can come back to it. Sing it tomorrow and  the next day and the next year to feel what shifted.
  
  

  
  
  

What people who study this have noticed

You don’t need a lab coat to get it, but it’s nice to know grown-ups have looked.

• Psychologist James Pennebaker found that putting tough experiences into words can help some people feel and function better over time.
  
  

• Music therapists like Professor Felicity Baker and Professor Katrina McFerran have used songwriting in hospitals and communities for years. It’s not a gimmick. It’s a method.
  
  

• Public-health teams led by Stephen Clift showed community singing can lift mood and reduce anxiety for many.
  
  

• Clinicians at Imperial College London used simple singing-and-breathing work with long-COVID patients and saw real gains in ease and confidence.
  
  

Different studies, same direction: music plus words can move something that straight talk leaves stuck.

My take, as a singer and teacher

In hard seasons songwriting helped me feel safe again. Helped me cry and release things I didn’t even know I was carrying. I’ve watched students do the same. No perfect rhymes or fancy chords. Just something for you, that fits in your mouth.

What “healing” looks like in plain language

• You feel a little less caged.
  
  

• You sleep a little better.
  
  

• You’re kinder to yourself for the afternoon.
  
  

• You have something to hold that isn’t the whole story, but it’s a part of your story. 

If you don’t play, you still qualify

You can hum. You can speak-sing. You can tap a slow pulse on the table and say one line in time. That’s already more than the conversations in your head that berate you and  go in circles. You can shout at the world, punish people who hurt you, forgive yourself, forgive others. No one can tell you what you can or can’t write about.

A note on privacy

You don’t have to share it. You can. Choose one person who won’t fix you. Or keep the song on your phone with the date. Proof that you kept going.

September: creativity as a lifeline

 Start where you are. Be clumsy. Be honest. Be quiet or be loud. Give it a try.

Thanks for reading. If you want a steady hand while you find a voice that works and doesn’t feel wrecked at day’s end, I invite you to book a short call or a first lesson at lisarichardsmusic.com.

— Lisa