Why You’re Not “Tone Deaf” (And Why That Label Is Rubbish)

Hey there,

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me, “Oh, I can’t sing—I’m tone deaf,” I’d be lazily sipping iced coffee on a beach somewhere instead of writing this post.


Here’s the truth:
Tone deafness is extremely rare. Like, clinically diagnosed and affects less than 5% of the population rare. And yet, so many people carry around this label like it’s a permanent tattoo. Usually slapped on by a teacher, parent, or friend who didn’t know any better. Sometimes it’s shame in disguise.

If that’s you—I want you to know:
You are not tone deaf. You’re untrained. And that’s not a flaw. It’s a starting point.

So What Is Going On?

Here’s what I often see when someone says they’re tone deaf:

  • They haven’t been taught how to listen to pitch differences in a way that makes sense

  • They don’t know how to coordinate breath, vocal folds, and hearing to match pitch (yet)

  • They’ve had a shutdown moment (like being told to “mime” in school choir) and stopped trying.



  • They’ve internalised a story that “some people can just sing” and they’re not one of them

Spoiler: even trained singers miss notes. That doesn’t make them tone deaf. It makes them human.

 Pitch Matching Is a Skill—Not a Talent

You don’t say someone’s “word deaf” because they struggle to read.
So why say you’re tone deaf because you struggle to sing in tune?

Singing in tune isn’t magic—it’s a combination of:

  • Hearing (can you detect changes in pitch?)

  • Coordination (can your voice respond?)

  • Practice (have you done it enough to feel confident?)

All of that can be developed. Gently. Practically. With support. It’s what I teach every week.

What Happens in a Voice Lesson?

In my studio (and online), I work with adults of all backgrounds—especially those who’ve been told they’re “not musical.” We work with what’s already there. I use simple exercises to help you:

  • Hear pitch clearly

  • Match pitch in a relaxed, unpressured way

  • Understand what’s getting in the way (spoiler: it’s rarely your ears)

  • Build trust in your own voice

You’ll learn how to sing on pitch—not perfectly, not instantly—but better than you thought possible.

And more importantly?
You’ll start to enjoy it.

💬 Final Thoughts

You don’t have to stay stuck in the story that you’re tone deaf.
That label is rubbish—and it’s probably not even true.

If you're curious about what your voice can actually do, I invite you to book a free intro call or a 4-lesson pack (online or in-person in Canberra). Whether you want to sing in the car, on stage, or just for yourself—I’ll meet you where you are.

https://lisarichardsmusic.com/private-voice-lessons

Because your voice deserves that much.

With warmth,
Lisa

 

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