Why You Hate the Sound of Your Own Voice (And How to Make Peace With It)
Ever heard a recording of yourself and thought, Wait… is that really what I sound like?!
You’re not alone. Most people cringe when they hear their own voice played back. Singers, even more so. It’s like listening to a stranger—except the stranger is you.
But why does your voice sound so different to you than it does to everyone else? And more importantly—how do you stop hating it?
Let’s break it down.
Why Your Voice Sounds Different on a Recording
You might think you know what your voice sounds like. But you’ve been hearing it wrong your entire life.
The Science Behind It
1️. Internal vs. External Sound Transmission
When you speak or sing, you hear your voice in two ways:
Through the air (like everyone else does).
.png)
Through your skull (which only you experience).
The vibrations travel through your bones and tissues, giving your voice a deeper, richer, and more resonant sound inside your head than what actually comes out.
.png)
2️. A Recording Only Captures One Side of the Story
When you hear your voice played back, you’re only hearing the air-transmitted sound—not the added richness from the internal vibrations.
That’s why your recorded voice sounds thinner, higher, or weaker than what you expect.
3️. Your Brain Hates Surprises
You’ve spent your entire life hearing yourself one way.
Your brain doesn’t recognize the recording as “you” because it doesn’t match the version it’s used to.
And just like an awkward photo taken at a bad angle, your first instinct is to reject it.
Why Do So Many People Hate The Sound Of Their Own Voice?
Expectation vs. Reality - You think you sound one way, but the recording tells a different story. That disconnect makes you uncomfortable.
Self-Criticism - We are our own worst critics. Singers, especially. We hyperfocus on every tiny imperfection that no one else would notice.
Lack of Confidence - If you’ve ever been told you “can’t sing” or don’t have a “nice” voice, that past criticism sticks—even if it wasn’t true.
Your opinion
How to Make Peace With Your Voice
The good news? You can learn to accept—and even love—your real voice. Here’s how:
1. Listen More Often (Yes, Really)
The more you hear your voice played back, the less weird it feels.
Singers should record themselves regularly—not to criticize, but to adjust and improve.
2. Stop Comparing It to the “In-Your-Head” Version
Your recorded voice isn’t wrong—it’s real.
It’s how the world hears you, and it’s probably better than you think.
3. Work on Technique, Not Self-Judgment
If your voice sounds weaker than you expect, it might be a technique issue.
Breath support, resonance, and placement can all improve tone—without forcing anything.
4. Get Objective Feedback
Instead of assuming you sound “bad,” ask a vocal coach or trusted listener for feedback.
Most of the time, what you hear as “awful” is perfectly fine (or even beautiful) to others.
5. Own Your Unique Sound
There’s a reason we love distinctive voices—Bob Dylan, Billie Eilish, Leonard Cohen, Adele.
Your voice is yours. Embrace it instead of wishing it sounded like someone else.
Your Opinion of Your Own Voice Is (Mostly) Irrelevant
Here’s a hard truth: How you feel about your voice has nothing to do with how others experience it.
You might think your voice sounds thin, awkward, or just plain bad. But your audience? They aren’t comparing it to the version in your head. They aren’t fixating on every little imperfection. They’re just listening- Hearing you without the baggage you carry in your head..
We assume our opinion of our voice is the truth. It’s not. It’s just an opinion—Your voice isn’t the problem—your attachment to how you think it should sound is.
Ask yourself this: Do you dislike your voice because it’s actually “bad,” or because it doesn’t sound like someone else’s? Have you ever judged another singer as harshly as you judge yourself? If your voice belonged to someone else, would you be as critical?
Your voice isn’t the problem—your attachment to how you think it should sound is.
Want to feel more confident in your real, recorded, actual voice? Start using it. Start sharing it. And stop assuming you’re the worst judge of it.
Book a lesson today. Let’s work on what your voice can do—not what you think it can’t.
https://lisarichardsmusic.com/private-voice-lessons
.jpg)
Comments
Post a Comment